Meh!

Reader, help!  I'm having an existential crisis. :/  Here I sit on the carpet in my comfy family room, music pouring into my ears (Here Comes My Baby -- The Tremeloes), trying to think of something to write, something to say, something to do with myself.  And sooooo fuckkkkkking jittery.  Ugh.  My head's throbbing a bit. Maybe its dehydration but actually, I've been drinking lots of water as of late.  Where do we start, my darling reader?  Where did we leave off?  Should we even go forward?  

Formal Apology 
I'm sorry for leaving you hanging there at the food post but it honestly couldn't be helped.  My computer more or less gave out on my last two weeks left in Cuba.  Technology's a bitch ain't it?  Just when you need it the most, it lets you down.  But at last, its all good, I'll fix it.  I'm using one of the other computers at my house to write to you.  Reader, you know me.  I'm no quitter.  We started this together and I'll make sure we end it together as well.  You didn't come here to read about food...

Last 3 Days

Hoy:Today
Memorial day.  I woke up at like 5:30 cus I couldn't sleep anymore.  I'm feeling off today.  After crawling out of bed, I made oatmeal and pancakes and turned on the tv to watch some BBC.  I missed a story on kids learning ballet in Havana since I was channel flipping during commercials.  Does that happen to you?  Just when you hear about something or do something, it seems to come up everywhere.  

Ayer: Yesterday  
As you may know, I'm back in Sayreville, NJ.  I didn't leave the house for the last two days.  I can do that here and honestly, I'm kinda afraid to go outside at this point.  Walking through the Miami International Airport and then Newark were shocking enough.  So much stuff.  So much technology.  And hearing English everywhere feels strange.  I got back to NJ Sunday at midnight.  Waiting for my dad and my sister to pick me up, I had a conversation with a woman from the Santo Domigo in the Domincan Republic.  She was visiting her son in NJ and needed to borrow my phone to call him to let him know that she had arrived.  For a night on May 25, it was pretty damn chilly and therefore, she didn't want to step outside the airport to go looking for him.  Anyways, after a bit, her son showed up and not long after, so did my dad and my sister. 
 I adore my papa.  He's kind of my hero.  Our friendship is built on this mutual understanding that we are both stubborn, argumentative, and passionate about what we believe it.  He's my go to foreign policy, politics, history and debate buddy.  And often, when I'm away at school, I make sure to call him to chat about the ongoings of this crazy cool world of our's.  It was tough not hearing his comforting voice-always full of advice-- for so long but now that the summer's here and I'm home again, we can continue bonding over political news and chatting.  

Sabado: Saturday
My last day in Havana was like nothing I ever imagined.  We were supposed to be in the airport by noon.  Good thing I decided to be smart for once and not wait until the last minute packing.  I spent a good chunk of that morning running around delivering gifts to people and eating lunch at my favorite paladar--I place filled with some sweet memories.  I visited a clinic where one of my Cuban friends works (her parents immigrated to this country from Vietnam and her sister and grandmother live in the states).  She's such a spunky, sweet person with this infectious laugh and before I left, I wanted to give her a bunch of clothes and these sassy hot fire engine red heals I never had the guts to wear. Lolz!  When I daydreamed about my life here, I though I would need these shoes to salsa with some hot Cuban guy.  Very funny considering:
1.  I trip over my own feet/ fall climbing upstairs-Dancing in heals is a feat for my feet! ;)
2.  I don't wear heals normally so why begin with such an uncomfortably high pair
3.  Most of the hot Cuban guys are in relationships with hot Cuban girls/hot foreign girls 

Also: I actually didn't take the opportunity to learn/dance salsa in a club like I planned.  Whoopsadaisy! :/  Instead...
That morning-like 6:30ish- I found myself sitting in a taxi with my German friend (I adore this girl soooooo much!  and will most def be visiting her in Alemenia when I get the chance) and two Cuban guys we met at a party.  For 3 hours (from 3am-6am), I danced my sorrow, angst, and fear away to electronic music.  I had no clue that I had this in me.  Sweet, responsible me going out at the witching hour (3 am is when all the freaks, thieves, and perverts in this world come out to do their mischievous activities) and dancing until the wee hours in the morning.  But I had an amazing time and even though I don't think I could do it every weekend, its something I'll most def do again!  :p 
But anyways, I made a pinky promise with one of the guys we met--a BMX biker/musician of some sort--that I would be back in Havana.  You know with pinky promises, if you don't keep the promise you loose the finger.  Therefore, for him, my Cuban mom, my Cuban cousin, and all the friends I left behind, I have no choice but to go back somehow.  I have to try to get in touch with everyone to let them know I got back safe and sound.  

From here..
For you love, I'll finish tying up loose ends.  I want to spend this week filling you in on some important cultural, historical, current affairs, and other tidbits about Cuba-all from my perspective of course.  And with the prodding by my kid sister, I've made a tumbler and will be posting the beastly pictures I took! Yay for photo sharing!!! ;)  

  Also, here's some Nancy for you!  Nancy Ajram turns the worst of days into happy ones! 
Paz, amor, y alegria! 
-Besitos! <3